You Are What You Eat (and Watch, Breathe, Hear, and Feel)

You are what you eat. We all know this to be true. If you eat healthy, you'll be healthy, and vice versa. Except for the occasional person who defies rational science and manages to break these rules.

I've found the same to be true in other things we consume. Not just food, but music, culture, images, advice. If you take in the negative, it will be nearly impossible for you not to BE negative yourself. Not that I'm in favor of turning a blind eye to the real but negative issues affecting our world, but there are a lot of needless negatives that we consume on a daily basis. In an effort not to turn into these things, here's my list of 8 damaging things I vow to eradicate from my life:

• Useless, hurtful Facebook rants that in no way instigate positive change or understanding.
• Depressing movies. I can appreciate the artistic aesthetic, but I need to consume these in moderation. Life's too short to be sad.
• Scary movies. What I said before. Life's too short to be scared.
• Music that brings me down. If it doesn't bring a smile to my face or at least a vague sense of peace, I'm skipping it.
• Talking heads. I love the band. Hate the angry political instigators.
• Gossip and Tabloids. I'm making a conscious effort to recognize these for the false and damaging things that they really are. 
• Television comas. I never wake up thinking, "Gosh, I wish I'd watched more t.v. last night." I always feel better when I've gone to bed with a book instead. 
• Couch time. A good day requires physical movement. This one's non-negotiable for me. 

Here's to more light in your life. 

10 Surprising Facts About Orgasms by Sarah Jio

I love this article by Sarah Jio in Woman's Day. It's titled 10 Surprising Facts About Orgasms. My favorite is #9, in which she discussed a woman who had an orgasm every time she used the treadmill. That would take my love of running to a whole new level.

Though now I'm always going to wonder about the women next to me on the treadmills at the gym. Does she just really enjoy working out or did she just...

The Argument for Erotica

I think that if a person wants to read a story that has sex in it, they should be permitted to do so. (I'm not going to weigh in on the porn industry because I don't work in film, I work in words). But there are those who have suggested that this is bad, implies a flaw of character or lack of moral integrity. I'm completely at a loss when confronted with this mentality.

Sex is a healthy normal part of being human. So are fantasy and imagination. I'm an adult writing for other adults. My job does not expose me to diseases or drugs. I do not force my work on other people and if they seek it out and don't like it, they are free to post an unfavorable review with an expression of their opinion.

So what's the big deal?

It's been suggested in the argument against porn, that porn creates an unrealistic and unattainable image of what sex really is or should be (again, just stating how some feel, not offering my own opinion). This thinking has been transferred to erotica, with the implication that reading erotic stories creates in women the same false image. If that's true, why stop there? Let's ban all romance writing and certainly in film we must do away with romantic comedies. We don't want people pining for the storybook ending that will never happen. We might as well take away anything that glorifies anything. The underdog team that wins the championship, the lone crusader for justice who defeats the bad guys.

This thinking becomes so muddled and illogical that I get to a point where I can't even take the naysayers seriously. I might be able to understand an argument against words on a page if those words promote hatred or bigotry. But when it comes to erotica, the goal is pleasure. A healthy and happy person can also be a sexual and imaginative one. There's nothing wrong with that.

Don't take away Grandma's erotica, it helps her sleep. 

Do Good/Feel Better

I think it's absolutely true that doing good things for others makes you feel better. Not just that you deserve a pat on the back, but helping others has an actual positive impact on your physical health. I'm all about feeling good in every possible way, so today I'm posting this article from Yahoo on the benefits of volunteering.

And now I'm going to search for my next 5K. I'll get in a good run, combat the effects of the holidays, and my race fees will benefit charity. Just thinking about running makes me feel like eating chocolate. I think I'll do that, too.

There's Room for Laughter in the Bedroom

I'm happy to say that the first two books of The Sylvie Series are now live on Amazon. The genre of this series is erotic comedy. When I mentioned to friends, a hetero couple, a few months back that this was what I was working on, they looked perplexed. Erotic comedy? That's a strange mix.

I didn't think so. I see erotic comedy as the evolution of romantic comedy. It also speaks to a group of consumers who enjoy erotica, but can't stand the melodramatic. Sexy doesn't always have to be serious.

I found my friends' reactions interesting and we talked about it a little more, eventually agreeing that women are perhaps more open to laughter in the bedroom than men. Of course, that's a sweeping generalization, but take it with a grain of salt.

Men just want it dirty, my male friend said. We don't want to laugh about it.

Sometimes women do, I countered. Sometimes the idea, the topic, and the act of sex all feel so serious that we just want to lighten things up. The female half of the couple agreed.

Laughter, like sex, can be a release. And many women instinctively gravitate to anything that relieves the pressure of a thousand different commands that bounce around in our brains, including: be sexy, look pretty, lose weight. These are unfortunate and unrealistic voices that we hear, and we often relate them to sex. I don't think it has to be that way. I vote to turn off those voices and permit ourselves to giggle.