Every Kiss Does Not Begin With Kay

I found myself suddenly nauseous on the treadmill the other day. Was I pushing too hard? When had I last eaten? No, the culprit was none of these. I found myself having a physical reaction to the Kay Jewelers commercial on the screen in front of me.

Okay, so this woman looks like she just needs to take a good poo, but you get my point. And I never wear my hair down or lip gloss or earrings on a treadmill. Fine, the picture was a bad idea.

But ALSO a bad idea would be buying your new stepdaughter a diamond in the hopes of creating the basis for a loving blended family. Have you seen the commercial? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Sure, some ladies like their bling. If you want to buy your sweetie some sparkle, knock yourself out. But mommy's new beau giving a diamond pendant to the kid is creepy and sets a dangerous precedent. After that, her teenage years are sure to put you in the poorhouse.

What really bothers me, though, is the notion that if you give a woman a diamond, she will love you. Or that she needs a diamond to know she's loved. And I don't think many people actually feel this way, but Kay Jewelers sure as hell wants us to. Screw that. Every kiss does NOT begin with Kay.

Just keep smiling. Even if it's another necklace. Please be Game of Thrones. Please be Game of Thrones. Is there a swan on my head?

EROTICA INTERVIEW: Elaine Ambrose

I recently conducted an interview with Elaine Ambrose, author and contributor to the poetry collection DAILY EROTICA. In addition to writing erotic poetry, she is one of the funniest and most entertaining people I've met. Enjoy!

Gianna Day: When did you start writing erotic poetry?

Elaine Ambrose: I started writing erotic poetry because it was more fun than writing corporate annual reports. Instead of "maximizing shareholder value to achieve our strategized objectives" now I can write, "She gasped as he slowly moved the ice cube across her navel." 

GD: Do you write more for "you" or for "him"?

EA: I write from my perspective and the results usually please both of us. I know what I like and he loves to find out. 

GD: Do you find men and women respond to different content, do women like romance and men like it dirty, or is that just a stereotype?

EA: I think it's a stereotype to say men only respond to dirty trash. Unfortunately, that's all that many men have ever seen. It's amusing when 13-year-old boys sneak peeks at girly magazines but it becomes pathetic when grown men rely only on pornography to feel sexual. Men can be romantic with the proper stimulation and encouragement. 

GD: In addition to Daily Erotica, you wrote Menopause Sucks. Does age have an impact on the erotic side of life? For better or worse?

 

EA: Age can impact how women feel about their bodies and that can make them feel less sexy so they are hesitant to get intimate. No one really wants to discuss vaginal dryness, sagging skin, loss of libido, and weight gain. Fortunately, there are medications that can help with dryness and libido. As for skin and weight, it's good to exercise regularly to get in shape to have the strength and stamina to make love for hours. And, don't forget soft candlelight, mood music, and a few glasses of wine. After all that, both of you will be irresistible. Remember that the partner is aging too, and passion isn't limited to the young. Age brings a certain confidence because there are no more games to play. And, most important, I guarantee that multiple orgasms are better at midlife than they are in your twenties. Trust me!

GD: What turns you on?

EA: I get turned on several ways: different positions, no pajamas, looking eye-to-eye during playtime, and knowing we both equally enjoy passion. As for fun and creative ideas, I wrote a poem in Daily Erotica titled "The Reverse Plank." It's definitely not about the missionary position. 

GD: What turns you off?

EA: Not much turns me off. I'm ready to go with a few creative touches, much like a clown in a jack-in-the-box. Of course, that's only with my partner.

Hey Jack, what's in the box?

GD: What are you working on now?

EA: I am writing a non-fiction book titled Midlife Cabernet that contains essays about life, love, and laughter at midlife. Full-bodied, bold, and sophisticated isn't referring only to good wine!

GD: Do you blog? Where can people find you?

EA: Find my blog "Midlife Cabernet" at my web site www.ElaineAmbrose.com. The blog also is published on BlogHer.com, ProjectEve.com, and Jennings Wire. I'm active on Facebook, Linked In, and my Twitter handle is @AmbroseElaine. My publishing web site is www.MillParkPublishing.com. I honestly say that my love life gets better every day - and night...

If you write erotica and would like to do a guest blog interview, email Gianna Day at giannadaybooks@gmail.com. 

The Argument for Erotica

I think that if a person wants to read a story that has sex in it, they should be permitted to do so. (I'm not going to weigh in on the porn industry because I don't work in film, I work in words). But there are those who have suggested that this is bad, implies a flaw of character or lack of moral integrity. I'm completely at a loss when confronted with this mentality.

Sex is a healthy normal part of being human. So are fantasy and imagination. I'm an adult writing for other adults. My job does not expose me to diseases or drugs. I do not force my work on other people and if they seek it out and don't like it, they are free to post an unfavorable review with an expression of their opinion.

So what's the big deal?

It's been suggested in the argument against porn, that porn creates an unrealistic and unattainable image of what sex really is or should be (again, just stating how some feel, not offering my own opinion). This thinking has been transferred to erotica, with the implication that reading erotic stories creates in women the same false image. If that's true, why stop there? Let's ban all romance writing and certainly in film we must do away with romantic comedies. We don't want people pining for the storybook ending that will never happen. We might as well take away anything that glorifies anything. The underdog team that wins the championship, the lone crusader for justice who defeats the bad guys.

This thinking becomes so muddled and illogical that I get to a point where I can't even take the naysayers seriously. I might be able to understand an argument against words on a page if those words promote hatred or bigotry. But when it comes to erotica, the goal is pleasure. A healthy and happy person can also be a sexual and imaginative one. There's nothing wrong with that.

Don't take away Grandma's erotica, it helps her sleep. 

10 Habits of Happy Couples

I love this list of 10 habits of happy couples and felt compelled to share it. Courtesy of Psychology Today, this list includes some things that we already know, but sometimes need to be reminded of. Personally, I love the one about doing a "weather check".

Read the full article here and remember to put more love in your life.