The Yoga Fart

The room was packed. We were a third of the way through an eighty-minute hot yoga class. And it wasn't even while doing a pose, but while turning around to sit down on the mat and take a rest. And no, it wasn't me. But it could have been.

The woman was between me and the wall, but her mat was a few feet forward of mine, which pretty much put my face in line with her butt. Since it happened when we were sitting down to take a rest, there was no music on. The room was quiet. And it wasn't a tiny fart. It was a big one, unexpected, because when you're sitting down to rest, you have your guard down about that sort of thing. It echoed throughout the room. It was unmistakable. 

What could anyone do but continue on? Pretend it didn't happen? The next sound in the room was the instructor advising us to "Take deep, rich breaths." Being in the position I was, I didn't really want to take deep, rich breathes. "And focus on your intention." 

Focus, I thought. Focus on your intention. My intention is always the same: kindness. And that's what I focused on. I focused on sending kindness to the woman who'd let one slip. I sent kindness and love and understanding. I sent calm and peace and comfort. No one will laugh or point or think any less of her. I sent the assurance that we all experience these moments at some point, that we're all in this together. With every fiber of my sweaty being, I sent positive energy and friendship her way. I sent a reminder that yoga is not about judgement. That the mat is a safe place. And that everything is going to be okay. Because sure, it wasn't me this time. But it could have been. 

Humble Your Warrior

I’ve practiced yoga for years. Hot yoga for the last few months. But last Friday I felt like a complete newbie.

I’d heard people talk before about sudden waves of emotion during yoga, about getting weepy or panicked, needing to rest. It had never happened to me before, so perhaps my inner warrior grew a bit… cocky.

The hot yoga class I take is an hour and twenty minutes. I went every weekday last week, so by Friday I was on my fifth day in a row. The first half of the class was great, though I did notice that it seemed even hotter than usual, well over 105˚. During the second half of the class, I found myself thinking about death.

That’s odd, I thought, as death is clearly not the intention I set at the beginning of this class. 

But it wouldn’t go away. Death was in my head. The deaths of loved ones, my own death, and whether or not I was going to die of a heart attack right there on the studio floor. I backed off, went to child’s pose, focused on breathing out longer than in. I couldn’t slow my heart rate and my throat began to choke with emotion.

Then I did something I’ve never done before. I left early. Never bailing on a class is something I pride myself on. After all, I’m the person that suffers through a class even with the worst of wardrobe malfunctions (which you can read about here). But maybe my pride had grown out of hand. I had to leave. I mouthed the words I’m sorry to the instructor, who graciously smiled and mouthed back it’s okay.

I’ve had three successful classes since then. I’m glad that it hasn’t happened again, but I also know that I’ll be okay if it does. It’s a practice, after all. And every now and then it’s good to humble your warrior. 

I don't see the word death in there anywhere, do you?

The Argument for Erotica

I think that if a person wants to read a story that has sex in it, they should be permitted to do so. (I'm not going to weigh in on the porn industry because I don't work in film, I work in words). But there are those who have suggested that this is bad, implies a flaw of character or lack of moral integrity. I'm completely at a loss when confronted with this mentality.

Sex is a healthy normal part of being human. So are fantasy and imagination. I'm an adult writing for other adults. My job does not expose me to diseases or drugs. I do not force my work on other people and if they seek it out and don't like it, they are free to post an unfavorable review with an expression of their opinion.

So what's the big deal?

It's been suggested in the argument against porn, that porn creates an unrealistic and unattainable image of what sex really is or should be (again, just stating how some feel, not offering my own opinion). This thinking has been transferred to erotica, with the implication that reading erotic stories creates in women the same false image. If that's true, why stop there? Let's ban all romance writing and certainly in film we must do away with romantic comedies. We don't want people pining for the storybook ending that will never happen. We might as well take away anything that glorifies anything. The underdog team that wins the championship, the lone crusader for justice who defeats the bad guys.

This thinking becomes so muddled and illogical that I get to a point where I can't even take the naysayers seriously. I might be able to understand an argument against words on a page if those words promote hatred or bigotry. But when it comes to erotica, the goal is pleasure. A healthy and happy person can also be a sexual and imaginative one. There's nothing wrong with that.

Don't take away Grandma's erotica, it helps her sleep. 

Hot Yoga Man

I think this guy is hot. And it has nothing to do with his age, race, or muscles. It has everything to do with humor and health.

Laughter is sexy. Laughter brings balance into the otherwise serious and often heartbreaking world. I love a man who can laugh at himself and bring joy to those around him. It implies a self-assurance and innate peace that attracts one human to another.

The physicality is equally sexy, but it's not about the muscles. Sure, muscles can be a turn on, but hotter than chiseled abs is a man who works hard to take care of his body. Who invests in feeling good through movement and hard work. I find the same qualities sexy in women. It's not about the dress size, it's about honoring the amazing human form and treating it right.

There's something about this picture and the elements it combines that I find undeniably pleasing. I look at his face and wonder what he's thinking, whether it's Hurry up and take the picture or Hey, look, I'm doing it! So many yoga photos show people practicing with serious faces, because the face is supposed to be relaxed. Maybe that's why this one caught my eye. It's almost as if instead of smiling for the camera, he couldn't help but smile, even though he wasn't supposed to. Dear yoga man: in the spirit of joy and health, I salute you.

Also, here's a picture of me writing today's blog:

Just kidding. I'm not quite there. Yet. 

10 Habits of Happy Couples

I love this list of 10 habits of happy couples and felt compelled to share it. Courtesy of Psychology Today, this list includes some things that we already know, but sometimes need to be reminded of. Personally, I love the one about doing a "weather check".

Read the full article here and remember to put more love in your life.